Success! I left my house!

It doesn't make sense to the "normal" person, but with PTSD the small victories count for a lot. 

I don't have a service dog yet. Getting one is an expensive endeavor. I do have a 9 month dog named Daisy who will hopefully fill that need for me when she's a little older. 

I've been trying for 2 or 3 days to make it out of my house to get the oil changed. Daisy needs to go with me, but at times her puppy tendencies make her difficult for me to handle. 

I finally managed to go today and take her with me. It's a constantly taxing situation right now, but Daisy and I are both learning and getting better at it. 

Maybe one day it'll be like second nature. But for now we keep pushing forward. 

Facebook experiment with mental illness

facebook (Photo credit: dkalo)

     I'm an Army veteran and former police officer.  Now, I live with PTSD each and every day.  PTSD causes me to have some very dark days.  Sometimes it's difficult to leave my house.  There are times when I go to social media sites like Facebook to try to reconnect with the world outside.  To try to find some bright spots in the world.

     I don't know if I was one of the Facebook test subjects, but I can say that it's a dangerous game they are playing by manipulating the feeds.  As one with an anxiety disorder, I'm not going to social media for things to cause more anxiety.  I'm going to connect and find at least some of the positive stuff in life.

      So, if Facebook or anyone else is purposefully manipulating information to see what happens, they are playing a very dangerous game.  Under the right circumstances, they could be contributing to the death of an individual.

      Facebook and any other mad scientists that decides they want to play with emotions should think very carefully about what they may be doing.  It's easy to sit behind a keyboard somewhere and ignore the human aspect of actions.  But it's very, very dangerous.  Stop it.

Related articles

• Flood of PTSD cases coming, scientists warn

Chrome problems on Mac

google chrome (Photo credit: toprankonlinemarketing)

      I have a fairly new Macbook Pro.  I'm happy with Safari as a web browser, but I've tried two or three times to install Chrome for various reasons.  Mainly because I used one browser for work and one for personal.

     But, for the third time i've had to uninstall Chrome because of weird issues I started having.  Namely, my computer would start having issues after a few weeks.  Things like locking up, slow programs, etc.  Each time I've gone through and looked for issues that may be causing it and each time I came up empty.

     So, I uninstalled Chrome again yesterday, restarted the Mac and now everything is running fine again.  I'm not sure what the issue is, but I'm not installing Chrome again.

     Has anyone else had this kind of issue?

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Making a carry gun decision

English: Desert Eagle Pistol beside Speer box of 325 Grain Hollowpoints (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

     For obvious reasons, guns of all types and 2nd amendment rights have become a topic of great importance.  No person with internet access has any excuse to say they know nothing about guns.  I should interject that reading about a gun and learning about it's safe and responsible use are two completely different things.
      With all of the voices crying in the internet wilderness about one firearm thing or another, making a decision on which one to purchase is next to impossible.  And don't bother asking for advice, especially online, unless you are well enough versed in the lingo and culture to wade through the garbage to get the real facts.
       In my conversations and searches, I've found that about 1 in 20 conversations about self defense weapons has any valuable information.  The rest are not so much an open sharing of information, but more of a "my gun's bigger than your gun."
     
     So, if you're trying to decide the best carry gun for you, you're probably going to have to make the decision all by your lonesome.  So here are some things to think about when choosing your carry firearm:

1. Will you carry it?  It's sounds like a great idea to go buy a giant gun and go with the bigger is better crowd.  Granted, some of those cannons do pack a punch.  They also cost more to practice with.  They also can be very difficult to carry and therefore you may not carry it.  Believe it or not, a gun in the safe has very little self defense value.

(Unless maybe you end up in a situation where you can swing the safe at an offender.)

2. Can you afford to practice with it?   Awesome!  You bought a 50cal Desert Eagle for self defense.  I'm curious, where did you get the loan to buy practice ammo?  If you cannot afford to become proficient with it, then you are doing yourself and those around you a great disservice.

3. Is it reliable?  Do some research to find out if many problems have been reported with a particular weapon.  Again, you will have to weed through the fluff.  Some Rambo's will immediately discount any weapon that jambs one time.

4. Can you find someone to work on it if need be?  There are some oddball guns out there that not even the gunsmith has heard of.  It may be cheap, but it may be cheap for a reason and getting it fixed may be more hassle than it's worth.

5. Can you find ammunition?  The ammunition shortage has gotten better, but it's not great.  Check around in stores and online to see what calibers are available.

These are just a few things to think about.  Go into more than one gun store and feel it out.  Check their selection, prices and staff.  Go to the place that is the most helpful, you can afford and they make you feel all fuzzy and warm.

Brodie

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IcyHot Tens Therapy for Anxiety Pain

Economy health symptoms at Good Will

We stopped into Goodwill yesterday mainly because we we bored. The store was busier than I had ever seen it. Could this be a sign about the state of our current economy? 

My PTSD service dog experience

     I have the anxiety disorder known as PTSD.  I don't need to go into all of the why that happened right now.  This post is about something better than that.

     So, I was in the local pet store today with my wife.  Just inside the door a guy named Gil Williams with Healing Paws for Heroes had an information table set up.  My wife and I stopped to talk to him about what they did.

     Gil had a service dog with him named Taffy.  After talking a while my wife asked if she could pet Taffy.  "Yes" Gil said.  So Jodi gave Taffy some love and it was a fairly normal people/dog exchange. When she was done I asked if I could pet her.  "Yes", was the answer again.

     I want to stop to say that the anxiety that comes with PTSD sometimes come more suddenly than others.  Often, I don't consciously realize that a panic attack has started.  They can be sneaky bastards.

      So, I squatted down to pet Taffy and she took it a step further.  She detected that I was having a current anxiety problem and she refused to just set there to be petted.  Instead she slowly and gently climbed up and wrapped her front legs around my neck in a hug and rested her head on my shoulder.  She also didn't want to leave this position.

      I'm not sure how to explain it, but this was one of the most emotional, good emotional, experiences I've had when it comes to PTSD.

PTSD is real.  It is hard to explain, but it's real.  And at times it's debilitating.  I don't know that I can afford a service dog like that, but hopefully I can help in some way.  By the way, all of the dogs trained by Healing Paws for Heroes are rescues.

Let me say again that that short time with Taffy may be a life changing event for me.  They are a non-profit organization, so if you can help financially I have included their info below.  Taffy has left a lasting impact on me in just a few minutes.

      Here is the website for Healing Paws for Heroes: www.healingpawsforheroes.org .  Please help if you can and please pray that maybe I can get a Taffy of my own.  PTSD has affected my memory, but I don't think I'll ever forget those 5 minutes with Taffy.

Brodie

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NRA Life of Duty Defending Our America | "Episode 2: Invisible Tragedy"

Do you market on Pinterest?

Here's an article I found today on using Pinterest as part of your marketing plan.  What are your thoughts.  I must admit that I haven't used it much for a marketing purpose.  Although I have considered it.

http://realtormag.realtor.org/technology/feature/article/2013/10/make-pinterest-part-marketing-plan

2008 Pop up camper for sale in Georgia

     I am selling our 2008 Fleetwood Bayside popup camper.  Asking $8000.00.

It sleeps 6.  Has heat, air, 3 bump outs, sink, stove and cabinet space.

Contact Brodie at brodiebrown1@gmail.com.  The camper is located in Marietta, Georgia.
Phone is 678-777-0707

Learn Gratitude with the Day One app

English: Sony Voice Recorder, with 2 micro cassettes Deutsch: Sony-Diktiergerät, mit 2 Mikrokassetten (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

     Being thankful for everything that God provides everyday can be a much harder task than it should be.  I am the guiltiest one of all.

      I'm constantly worried or concerned about the what ifs.  What if I can't get these bills paid?  What if I can't get this or that fixed on the house, car, etc.  What if I lose my job, (that already happened and I'm still alive).  The what if's and how do I's are faith and joy killers.

      Let me say this:  I have struggled to look at my blessings for as long as I can remember.  I am constantly lost in anxiety from the past or fear of the future.  But, with Gods help I'm going to try and change that.  Hopefully you'll join me.

      So, here's my plan.  I have an app on my phone, laptop and tablet called DayOne http://dayoneapp.com .  It's a free journaling app.  I'm not typing long discourses about what I'm grateful for.  Instead, I'm opening the app wherever I am and simply typing a few words at a time stating what I'm thankful for at the moment.  It helps to constantly bring my focus back to Jesus.

Here's an example:

It's sunny today

We have food in the house

The puppy didn't go on a crapapalooza this morning

etc.  You get the point.

In order to stay focused on Jesus, I must stay focused on His presence in my life on a continual basis. You don't have to use an app like DayOne.  Maybe paper is your preferred medium.  Possibly a voice recorder instead?  Whatever it takes to change your outlook.

Will you join me at least for a short while and see how it works to change your days?

Brodie

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Dog walk at Kennesaw Mountain

      We took our new puppy, Daisy, for her first adventure at Kennesaw Mountain State Park today.  If you haven't been there, it's a really nearby place to escape the suburban battlefield.  It's located in Kennesaw, GA and is super close to the burbs. 

     We're really glad Daisy came along, although there are times that she seems to be trying to win the title of master at times. 

Where are the Georgia gun ranges?

     We moved to Cobb county in Georgia in 2004. Coming from Indiana farm land, I just assumed there would be many options for outdoor gun ranges here. 

I was wrong. 

     I still haven't figured out why ranges are in such short supply. There are a few indoor ranges around. But, they're kind of pricy, and the list of rules for the sake of more rules is never ending. 

     I was able to go shoot outside at some private property today and it was awesome!!  I had forgotten how great it is to shoot in the outdoors and not in a cubicle. 

Charge your batteries Georgia

So, the snow and ice has begun in Georgia.  It's a little late to try to get prepared now, but there are still some things you can do.

The primary concern with this storm appears to be the ice.  This means some of our lovely pine trees may shed some big limbs onto power lines.

If you have any rechargeable items and/or spare batteries, now is the time to start charging them.

We have some Ryobi lights and radio and I have all of the batteries charged and ready to go.  Don't wait.  It may turn out to be a false alarm, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Georgia snow war part 2

So, here we go again. Snow, not such a big deal. But, significant icing and hilly terrain do not make for pleasant driving. Or, for that matter walking. 

Evernote helping with PTSD

Evernote (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

      PTSD causes me memory problems.  That may be an understatement.  The confusion that comes from it on occasion makes me want to just sit down and hide at times.

      One of the tools I use to compensate for my goofball brain is Evernote.  If I'm out I have all the info I need as long as I have my phone with the Evernote app.  Passwords, lists, reminders,  codes, pictures, the whole nine yards.  Plus it's all in one secure place.  I don't have to hunt if I'm mid panic attack and need something.

     I don't like being so dependant on a piece of technology, but I'm incredibly thankful to God that I have it.  If you've never used it you can see it here:

https://www.evernote.com/referral/Registration.action?uid=4457412&sig=fdb309d33f2fd08ca5ea117c1316d90b

P.S. No, I don't work for Evernote.  Although I wish I did.  Very cool app.  Evernote app

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How Christians should respond in a disaster

Government Turd Control

      Is it necessary to go into the open woods, where various large and small animals live, and post a sign telling people to pick up dog feces?  Keep in mind that this trail is in the woods, on and at the base of a mountain. A place where various large, medium and small wild animals live. 

     It's another government waste of tax money. 

My New Invisibility Cloak Worked!!!!!

      My wife and I wanted to add some steps to our Fitbits today so we headed to the mall in Kennesaw, Georgia.  We're in a cold snap down here, so a below freezing walk was less than appealing. 

     So, we hit Town Center Mall with arms swinging and Fitbits swinging.  

Now, I'm the type that's hyper vigilant, so I may see more than most people around me.  But, that excuse can only go so far.  

     As we power walked our way through the lemmings I was once again intrigued by how little people see.  I don't mean to sound cold, but this partly explains why a freak can stroll into a public place and start killing with his or her weapon of choice. 

    Nobody sees anything other than what they're interested in.  Most of them are very similar to zombies. I didn't see any of them eating brains (although I didn't check the restrooms), but the majority of the shopping dead were absolutely devouring stuff. They were on a mindless, one track mission to get stuff.  

    I could almost hear the moans, "stuff, stuuuufffff,  stufffff".  I am relatively convinced that there could have been flesh eating undead roaming the halls and aisles, and few would have noticed them unless one step, drag, groaned in front of the 50% off rack. 

      My point?  WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!  It's your job to keep yourself safe. If you belong to Christ it's also job to be aware so that Jesus can use you.  

As far as safety, there are not enough police, security, medics or military to keep you totally safe as you navigate each day.  It's your job first. 

1965 Indiana Plate on Ebay

I'm selling this 1965 Indiana license plate on my Ebay site.  It's amazing how good of shape these older plates are in when compared to some of the more recent ones I have.  

So, vehicle registration prices have gone way up, but the plate quality has gone way down. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=161207392988

Hike the Chattahoochee

Beautiful day for a hike by the Chattahoochee today. Although it was a bit cold. 

We all trust the invisible

     I was spending some dedicated time with God this morning and a thought occurred to me after reading some in the book of Psalms.  It was talking about trust in an invisible God.

     Many people will choose to not believe in God or Jesus because they can't see them.  Of course, this is a very narrow minded choice.

We all trust invisible things everyday.  Here are some examples:  I believe the internet exists, but I can't see it.  My cell phone works, but i've never looked up and seen a signal in the air.

Why do we believe that ancient Egyptians ever existed?  A few mummies and artifacts do not an empire make.  They also had writings of their history, so does God.

Have you seen love?  I haven't.  I've seen the actions resulting from love, but not love itself.  It's just a word until I choose to believe it.

I hear people on the radio, but I can't see them.  See people on tv, but never in person.  Are they all computer generated.

I hear names of people that did this or said that.  How do I choose to believe they exist or not.

      There are millions of stories from people from ages past and today that attest to the existence of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  But, many hard hearted people demand that it's all not true.  They scream not true, because He has requirements.  Some claim He's not real because many claiming to be Christians fall short of His glory.  Well, i've screwed up more times than I can count.  Does that mean that my parents are a figment of my imagination?

      God is waiting for you to look for Him.  You don't have to look far, I promise.  He waits with patience that we cannot understand day after day until the end.  All you have to do is lower your shields and ask Him to come.

Surviving an apocalypse to what end?

     If you spend anytime online, or watching TV, you can't really miss the increase in survival stuff.  Food kits, shelters, bunkers, survivalists media and so on.
      I stopped on one of these shows the other night and it made me wonder.  Why are they all so interested in survival?  What are they surviving for?

     My view is admittedly skewed by my relationship with Jesus.  I'm not worried about the end of the world.  I'm not worried about dying.  My future is secured in Jesus Christ.

     I don't necessarily want to live a life of pure survival and constantly trying to fight off the next person who wants what I have for their own survival.  It doesn't sound like much of a life.  I'm curious as to why basic survival is preferred over eternity with God?  Why do so many of us hold on so tightly to this world?

     Is it fear of the unknown?  No relationship with Christ?  Unbelief maybe?

Whatever the reason is, I find it very perplexing.  It doesn't make sense to me.

How about you?  Are you wanting to survive at all cost?  Do you know Jesus and if so does that change your view?

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Social media and evil exposure

     Sometimes, especially more lately, I feel constantly exposed to evil.  I guess TV can be blamed for some of it, but I think social media is probably a bigger culprit.

     This thought came to life last night.  Normally if I'm scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, etc. I'm only looking at those that I have intentionally connected to.   This creates kind of a safe atmosphere.

     But, I took a stroll off of the beaten path on twitter when I clicked on tweets and users that were nearby.  I wish I hadn't done that.  What I found were a bunch of people younger than me that were publicly posting about a mix of a bunch of depravity.  It was almost as if I had stumbled onto the social media feed from Sodom and Gomorrah.  Foul language, self degredation, anger, violence, and on and on.

      I was a cop for many years, so none of what was said hurt my delicate sensibilities.  What was disturbing was that there were no posts that were redeeming.  It was a melting pot of......I'm not sure what word fits.  It was just bad, evil.  Some were hurting and crying out.  Some were angry and threatening.  Some were lost.  Just....bad.

      If this is what is lying under the surface of our country then we are in serious trouble, very serious trouble.  It is a problem that is bigger than any of us or government can handle.  It's a problem only God can address.

     I vividly remember getting these kind of vibes from some of the more violent people that I have arrested.  It's disturbing to get the same feeling from kids living around the corner.